Pick your battles

I’ve tried a lot of fitness-y things over the past 3-4 years. One of my personal philosophies in life is that I’ll try anything twice, because one time is just not enough to conclusively decide that you hate something. It’s that second, third, and fourth attempt that pushes you further outside of your comfort zone, past the initial gut reaction to a place where you can actually assess if this is something you might grow to love. (For the record, I feel this way about pretty much everything in life – food, books, travel destinations. That first-time reaction only tells a very small part of the story, and you need to give everything at least a second shot before making a final decision.)

Sometimes this philosophy helps me out. For one example, consider my GHD panic, documented in my last post. I went from actual tears-in-my-eyes panic over the machine, to grudging respect, to now actually loving the equipment. I had a similar moment with handstands last night at Crossfit.

The Crossfit box I go to (Crossfit Iron Spider in Salem, MA – not remotely convenient to where I live or work, but I absolutely adore the coaches and the members, so I’m hooked and I tolerate the traffic. Seriously, it’s that good.) posts the WODs on their website the night before, and on Monday night, I saw that handstands were on the menu for Tuesday’s workout. Bear in mind this was my first day back at the gym after eight days off, so I was already a little skeptical about how the workout would go. Throw in handstands, and I started talking myself out of the workout before it had even started.

Turns out handstands aren’t terrible. Now, I didn’t actually manage a real handstand. I did the modified wall walk-up, which isn’t nearly as awful as it sounds, aside from the fact that I was walking up a whiteboard wall which doesn’t exactly have traction or grip. The problem, though, is that my upper body is my weakest area, and I’m not exactly a petite individual. Supporting my weight on my arms? It’s a tricky situation. I really struggled with getting my body up to near-vertical against the wall, because while I could walk my legs up without any trouble, when the time came to move my hands in closer, I just couldn’t do it. It’s partially a strength issue and partially a mental block – I’m convinced that the second I try to move one hand closer, thereby shifting all my weight to the other hand, I’m going to come crashing down face-first onto the floor. It needs work – a LOT of work. But I’m excited to keep working on it. I expected to hate everything about the handstands, but instead it has become another item to conquer as I keep working out at the box.

Every coin has a flip side, though, and that brings me to the item that I think I need to break up with once and for all: running.

Here’s the thing – when I say I hate running, it’s not because I’m slow, or because I’m not good at it. I genuinely hate everything about it. Nothing causes more knee pain than running. Last night’s WOD incorporated 100ft jogs in between activities, so I probably ran just around a quarter of a mile total over the course of the workout – and today I brought an ice pack to work to keep on my knees because they’re so angry with me. I also just can’t find the mental peace, the “runner’s high,” that so many people claim exists. Most of the time I find workouts almost therapeutic. I zone out, I find peace, I finally shut up all the voices in my head. Yoga class, spin class, alone at the squat rack – you name it, I will find it calming. Except for running. The entire time I’m running, the voices in my head scream at me. “We HATE this. This is TERRIBLE. This HURTS. WHY are you doing this?”

There’s this sense that everyone who wants to be fit should also be a runner. I caved to the pressure, too – witness the great half marathon debacle of 2015. I felt like distance running was something I HAD to do if I was going to legitimately call myself someone who’s interested in fitness.

Guess what? That’s just not true. I could put my running sneakers away and never touch them again and still be fit. I actually GAINED weight while I was training for my half marathon, because running left my body so sore and beat-up that I didn’t have the stamina to cross-train or do any of the things I really loved to do. Give me a Soul Cycle class where I’m actually enjoying pushing myself to improve. Throw me on an erg and let me row a 5K. I’ll happily do incline intervals on the treadmill as long as I don’t have to go over 3mph, and I’ll hike in the great outdoors all day long, as long as you give me a map and some bug spray. But running? Nah. I’m good.

So sorry, running, I’m just not that into you. I’ll have to check in with you from time to time when you end up in a WOD, but I’m not going to seek you out anytime soon. Life’s too short to waste time on something I hate, and there are too many other opportunities that I haven’t tried yet.

Advertisements

Thanksgiving Strategy

It should come as no surprise to anyone that I love Thanksgiving. I didn’t get to this place by skipping the stuffing and mashed potatoes, folks. I love food, and Thanksgiving is filled with some of my favorite things to eat. I want to make sure I enjoy the holiday, but I also don’t want to overdo it. I have my #6W2C midway check in on Saturday and I would hate for lingering turkey belly to show up for measurements! I’m sure I’m not alone in this, so I wanted to share some of my ideas for staying on track this week.

surviving thanksgiving

 

Make smart swaps. Wherever possible, I’m looking at our planned menu and identifying ways that I can save calories without sacrificing flavor. Here are a few of the things I’ll be doing on Thursday:

  • We always make spinach dip to eat during the early football game. The traditional dip is loaded with calories – mayo AND sour cream! served in a bread bowl with more bread on the side! – but there are ways to lighten it up. I’ll double the amount of spinach so that more of the bulk comes from veggies than from dip, and I’ll be using greek yogurt in place of the sour cream. I’m also providing cut up veggies alongside the bread for a healthier option to dip.
  • My family’s stuffing recipe is built around Jimmy Dean sausage, because there’s no better way to stuff a turkey than with some dead pig (delicious, delicious dead pig). My father would disown me if I tried to mess with this recipe, so I had to look for other ways to lighten up our family gathering. I decided that rather than pan searing the brussel sprouts in bacon drippings, I would roast them with butternut squash and olive oil. No need to incorporate more unnecessary pork products (though delicious. so, so delicious) into an already caloric meal!
  • I’ll be cutting way back on drinking during the day. I love beer during football as much as any girl, and who doesn’t love a bloody mary when prepping the turkey to go in the oven? But at the end of the day, I don’t want to waste calories on alcohol. I picked out a delicious wine to savor with the meal, but otherwise I’ll be sipping soda water throughout the day.

Get out of the kitchen. It’s really tempting to spend the whole day hanging out in the kitchen. We have an open concept kitchen/family room, so it would be really easy to spend all day either sneaking bites of stuffing from the bird (salmonella? what’s that?) or hanging out on the couch watching football. Instead of giving in to this, I like to plan activities into the day. I will be meeting my cousins for coffee in Boston in the morning before we all head off for our holiday plans, and I’ll take advantage of the opportunity to park away from the coffee shop so I can enjoy a nice walk. I’ll also take the dog out for an extra-long walk midday. This will help both of us – he’ll need to let off his pent up energy, and I’ll walk off some of my football snacks before the big meal. (Let’s just hope Boston weather cooperates and doesn’t rain out these plans!)

Choose a smaller plate. This is my favorite trick, even though it drives my mom absolutely up a wall. Plates have gotten steadily larger over the years, and the average dinner plate is so big that it’s easy to overeat. I really do like to have a little bit of everything from the Thanksgiving table, so if I start with a smaller plate, I can fill it with my favorite foods while forcing myself to use smaller portions. It makes my mom crazy that my plate doesn’t match the rest of her table setting, but it’s a strategy that I use all the time in my regular life. Smaller plates = smaller portions!

Take time to enjoy the day. Yes, the meal is a highlight of the day – but it’s not the only thing to enjoy. Make sure you’re taking time to appreciate the people that you’re spending the day with. Share what you’re grateful for over dinner. Catch up with the family members you haven’t seen in a while, and reflect on the previous year. The more the conversation flows over dinner, the more time you’ll take to eat your meal. You spent all day cooking, so dinner shouldn’t be over in twenty minutes! By taking time to enjoy the company and the experience of the meal, you’ll naturally slow down the pace at which you’re eating, and that will give your body time to realize that you’re full. Wait to take seconds – chances are you don’t actually want the extra portions!

Stay active this week – No excuses!  I planned out my workouts for the week, and I will follow through on every commitment, no matter what. I’ve been battling a sinus infection and it’s really tempting to just drown myself in Sudafed and hide from the world, but this week it is especially important to follow through on my workout plans. I’ve got a good mix of cardio and strength training Monday through Wednesday. I’m kicking Thanksgiving day off with an early spin class, and I’m signed up for Turkey Bootcamp with a group of girlfriends for Friday morning. Staying active this week will help me to think about my long term goals and make the right choices elsewhere in life.

Most importantly, remember that this is only one day out of the year. Practice moderation and make good choices, and remember that this day should be about enjoying the time you get to spend with the people you love. Plan for success, but don’t get so caught up in making healthy choices that you forget to savor the day – and the meal.

How are you setting yourself up for success this holiday season?

Tackling tempation

I don’t know about the rest of you, but willpower and I don’t really get along all that well. More than anything, I really struggle with temptation. If there’s candy in my desk drawer, I’m going to eat it. If I open a bag of snacks, I’m not going to stop after the recommended serving size. At parties, I can’t just try a sampling of the appetizers; I park myself next to whatever is most delicious and munch away. With the holidays coming up, I know that temptation is going to be confronting me at every turn. I’ve committed to both #6W2C and #Fit4Fifteen to help myself stay on track through the end of the holiday season, but those challenges aren’t going to take me all the way on their own. I also need to employ some handy tricks to keep myself on track.

Tip #1: Pre-portion all snacks as soon as you get home from the grocery store. 

photo 3 (1)

I did my grocery shopping at the new Market Basket in my town last night, and I was super excited to find this Cedar’s Spinach Dip, made with Greek yogurt. Cedar’s is based in the Merrimack Valley, here in MA, and I’m a huge fan of their products. They’ve also been generous donors to the youth conference I volunteer with in the past, so I like to support them whenever I can. At only 50 calories per serving, this is a great thing to have on hand for an afternoon snack with pretzels or cut up vegetables. However, I know that if I were to just start dunking carrot sticks directly in that tub of dip, I’d exceed the recommended serving before I knew it. To ward off any temptation, I picked up small snack size dip containers and pre-portioned out the tub as soon as I got home. The tub contained twelve 50-calorie servings, so I portioned it into six small cups to have at work as an afternoon snack this week.

Tip #2: Stock your kitchen with healthy, nourishing snacks. 

You know the saying, “Monkey see, monkey do”? In my kitchen, it’s “Colleen see, Colleen eat.” If you keep your biggest temptations on hand, you’re more likely to eat them. Bypass those aisles at the grocery store and resist the urge to add tempting foods to your cart. You’ll tell yourself that you’ll only have those cookies once a week as a special treat, but we know that’s a lie. That ice cream will definitely not be for PMS emergencies only, and I don’t care how much you swear that you’re only buying those chocolate chips as an addition to protein pancakes, we both know those will end up getting eaten by the handful after a bad day at work. Try instead to make sure that you always have plenty of healthy foods on hand that still feel like you’re giving yourself a treat. Avocados are one of my favorite healthy treat foods – adding them to eggs or mashing them on toast feels so indulgent, but I’m getting the healthy fats that my body needs. I also always have apples, hard boiled eggs, and preportioned baggies of turkey or beef jerkey on hand. These are all snacks that are easy to grab and go if I’m in a rush, and they fill me up and satisfy me without destroying my healthy eating plan for the day.

Tip #3: The freezer is your friend. 

I could pretend that my kitchen is a place where you will find only healthy, nutritious food items. This would be a lie. Yes, I do try to avoid keeping tempting foods around, but I’m human, and sometimes a girl needs a Snickers. I keep a bag of fun sized Snickers bars in my freezer at all times. That way, if I decide I really do want a little chocolate treat, I can go for just one bar. The bar needs to thaw a bit before it’s edible (unless I want to break a tooth!) and that time helps me to limit myself to just the single serving, and to be mindful that I’m treating myself to this snack.

Tip #4: Don’t go to holiday parties on an empty stomach.

photo 2 (1)

I always have a snack before I go to a holiday party. It’s easier to resist all the tempting appetizers if you’ve already got something healthy in your stomach. I might make a half serving size of Shakeology, or I might grab a handful of almonds and an apple. It’s also a good idea to have a full glass of water before you leave for any holiday events, and to keep drinking water throughout the night. Hydrating will help you feel fuller, and it will also keep you from overindulging in the holiday punch! I know that my already weak willpower becomes completely nonexistent after a few glasses of festive sangria.

Tip #5: Plan ahead.

When I go out to eat, I like to read the menu online ahead of time and plan out what I’m going to eat. This gives me time to think about healthy substitutions so I won’t delay my dining companions when we’re all ready to order. It also lets me preview both appetizers and desserts so I can decide where I’d rather splurge. This type of planning can be harder if you’re attending a party hosted in someone’s home, but there are ways around this! Call the host and ask if there’s anything you can contribute to the event. Maybe you can bring a healthy appetizer option, or prepare a side dish that utilizes lots of delicious vegetables without drowning them in butter or cream.

Tip #6: Don’t forget to enjoy yourself! 

At the end of the day, the holidays should be about having a good time with the people you care most about. Don’t get so caught up in trying to make healthy decisions that you forget to have a good time. It’s okay if you slip up. No one is perfect! This is all about finding balance. Set yourself up to succeed by reducing temptation wherever possible, and you’ll find that your slip ups are few far between. And if you do overindulge on pumpkin pie come Thanksgiving, well, at least it’s only one day out of the year. Get up and go for a run the next day, and remember that every day is a new chance to start over and make healthier choices.

What are some of the ways you resist temptation?
Share your favorite tips in the comments!

Fitnasty for Life
This post is my contribution to this week’s #fit4fifteen link up, hosted by Carolyn over at Fitnasty for Life. Make sure to check out some of the other awesome bloggers in the link up – they’ve all got great stories to share!

Finding the why

As I mentioned last week, I’m doing another Six Weeks to Chic challenge at Studio Poise. I’ve done this challenge twice before, once in Summer 2013 and again in spring of 2014, and I’ve been really happy with the results both times. I’m very excited to be kicking off another challenge and looking forward to holding myself to a higher standard for the coming weeks, in the hopes of resetting my habits on the healthier track.

As I embark on this challenge, I thought about sharing another #MotivationMonday post jammed with Pinterest-worthy quotes and sources of inspiration, but then I realized that I would benefit more from deeper reflection about why I decided to tackle another challenge. For each of the previous sessions, I had a clear goal in mind.

The Summer 2013 session coincided with two weddings. I was motivated to look my best for those events, and participating in the challenge kept me on target while traveling. I even managed to convince some of my friends to rent bikes to ride around Sonoma wine country during one of those wedding trips! We got to see more of the beautiful vineyards this way, and the ride also offset the calories consumed at the vineyards we visited (because you can bet that I wasn’t spitting out those wine tastings!) If you’re ever in Sonoma, I highly recommend this plan – we rented from Sonoma Country Cyclery and had a great time. vineyard bikes

For Spring 2014, the challenge’s conclusion coincided with my 29th birthday. I had planned a big birthday event at Cadillac Ranch and had about 20 friends coming together, so I was super motivated to look and feel my best. I wanted to be in great shape heading into the summer, and that was enough to keep me on target. I loved how I felt after that challenge, and I actually did a pretty good job of continuing to follow the meal plan through most of the summer.

Kindly disregard the wolf wall behind me. My birthday party was at Cadillac Ranch, and this is their standard decor...

Kindly disregard the wolf wall behind me. My birthday party was at Cadillac Ranch, and this is their standard decor…

However, as I head into this challenge, I’m in a very different place. As I’ve previously acknowledged, this fall has been really rocky for me. I’m not maintaining good habits in my diet, I’m not making it to as many classes, and I generally feel like I’ve let my health become less of a priority. I signed up for the challenge to get back on track, but if I’m really going to stick with it, I need to spend some time considering – why do I want to get back on track? 

We all need to find our own why. In the past, I’ll admit, my motivation largely had to do with my physical appearance. I wasn’t happy with how I looked. As I’ve progressed, though, I’ve realized that this is about so much more than the size of my jeans. I’m gaining real benefits from living a healthier lifestyle, and I need to remind myself of those gains so that I can push myself through the times when it’s all to tempting to give up.

So, what’s my why? Good question.

I feel more energized when I’m eating well and exercising regularly. Anyone who knows me will agree that I tend to commit to too many things. I have a demanding full time job, I serve on the board of directors for a youth leadership organization, and I like to fill my free time with adventures, whether that means visiting friends in New York City or trying new fitness classes. It might seem counterintuitive – time spent exercising is time that I can’t devote to these other commitments! – but skipping my healthy habits actually made it harder to keep up with a demanding schedule. I need to take care of my body if I’m going to put such crazy demands on it!

I sleep better when I’m following a healthy living routine. I have had problems with insomnia my entire life. I took ambien for a while, and even did a sleep study a few years back to try to ascertain why I felt tired all the time. When I am exercising regularly and eating healthy meals, I found that my sleep problems basically disappeared. I was falling asleep more easily, I wasn’t waking up multiple times throughout the night, and I felt well rested when my alarm went off in the morning. All that has flown out the window over the past few months. I lay awake for an hour or more trying to fall asleep every night, and I hit the snooze button multiple times every morning because I don’t want to get out of bed. I’m hoping that restoring my wellness habits will also lead to better sleep.

My mental health benefits when I’m taking care of my physical health. The hour a day that I spend working out is one of the very few opportunities I have to unplug and turn off my brain. When I’m on the mat, or riding a spin bike, or shimmying in a Zumba class, I’m not worrying about my clients or thinking about my to do list. I turn everything off and just let myself enjoy the moment. When I don’t work out, I lose that opportunity to tune everything else out, and it has a noticeably negative impact on my overall mental health. Stressful situations impact me to a greater degree, and I had a more negative outlook on life in general. When I’m making healthy choices, though, it has a trickle down effect and dramatically improves my ability to maintain a positive mentality and attitude.

There’s more to all of this than the size of my clothes. I’m going to be constantly warring with myself over this. I can’t deny that it feels good to reach for smaller sizes when I’m shopping, and I do appreciate receiving compliments on how I look, but that can’t be my primary motivation for pursuing fitness and wellness. I honestly don’t consider myself a vain person, and I would like to think that I’m not someone who is overly concerned with appearances, but I can’t deny that my own appearance has been a driving force in fitness endeavors for my entire life. This is the area I really want to personally focus on during this challenge – concentrating on my whys and the benefits of wellness and celebrating those, instead of glorifying the size of my jeans. 

To further help with my accountability through the holidays, I’m joining a linkup hosted by Fitnasty For Life, joining with other bloggers as we work to get #Fit4Fifteen. I’ll update this post with the link up when it’s available at the end of this week!

 

So tell me in the comments… What’s your why?

Friday Favorites: 11/7

Is anyone else feeling like this week deserves an extra-special celebration just for getting through to Friday? I don’t know if it’s because of the time change or just an exceptionally crazy time at work, but this week has been rough. I am looking forward to the weekend, even if it is jam-packed. Without further ado, let’s jump into this week’s roundup!

Favorite Fall Recipe: Slow Cooker Butternut Squash Soup

Image courtesy of PopSugar – click through for recipe.

I never really loved squash when I was a kid, but I’ve come around as an adult, and now I look forward to autumn because it means the return of tasty squash-based dishes! Butternut squash soup is one of my favorite fall recipes, but it can be deceivingly high in calories if you add heavy cream to thicken it. FitSugar shared this dairy-free slow cooker recipe earlier this week, and I made it yesterday. It made six 2-cup servings (I love these Ziploc containers for soup – they seal really well so I don’t have to worry about lunch bag leaks, and they hold a perfect 2 cup serving). Each serving comes in under 300 calories. I’ll likely eat the full two cups for a filling lunch, or have half a serving alongside a salad or sandwich. I love the idea of using white beans in place of dairy to cut calories while retaining the richness of the soup! I will say that this recipe, as provided by FitSugar, is a bit on the bland side. I used 4 cups vegetable stock and 2 cups chicken stock which helped, and next time I will bump up the spices – salt alone is not enough! This time around, I’ll likely add salt & pepper, and possibly a bit of hot sauce, to my servings when heating them up to kick up the flavor.

Favorite Fall Resolution: Use the Office Basement Gym!

Arms day in the office gym!

Earlier this year, my office building opened a new gym in the basement, which is free for all employees to use. It’s a small space and is pretty basic, but does have everything you need to fit in a decent workout. I find that between running, at-home DVDs and my studio classes, I’m getting plenty of cardio, but I could use more weight training in my life. Body Pump has filled that need at home, but I don’t always feel like waking up early to do a DVD. I made a resolution to begin using the work gym more often, and to help with this commitment, a friend and I set up biweekly gym appointments in our Outlook calendar. I love having someone to help keep me accountable, and I’m using this time to focus more on weights and on strength exercises. On Tuesday I tried out these resistance band exercises with mixed results – my legs were so sore the next day but I didn’t love the core or arms offerings, so I’m on the hunt for more types of band exercises to try (please leave recommendations in the comments if you’ve got any that you really love!) And yesterday, I focused on arms. I did Body Pump Pump & Burn at home before work, but that 35-minute DVD focuses on legs, core, and back. I didn’t want to neglect my arms, and this printable workout was perfect. I started with 10lb weights and hope to build up from there!

Favorite Shopping Find: Ebates!

Ebates Coupons and Cash Back

Okay, maybe I am really behind the times here, but a friend recently told me about Ebates and I am totally jazzed about the site. Retailers pay Ebates a fee for referring shoppers to their sites. When you make a purchase, those retailers pay Ebates – and Ebates returns a percentage of that income to you! The homepage features sales and deals, and they also have promotions for double or triple cash back. Earlier this week Nordstrom was 9% back in combination with their clearance sale, so my first Ebates purchase earned me almost $15 cash back! I’m not getting paid to advertise this site, I just think it’s a really smart way to get some money back if you’re already a high volume online shopper. Check it out and sign up today! (Disclaimer – while I’m not being paid for this, the link above is an affiliate link — I do get a bonus if you sign up using my link. Thank you for your support!)

Housewife Glamour

You may have noticed that the title this week changed from “Friday Roundup” to “Friday Favorites.” I’m linking up with Housewife Glamour, Running4Cupcakes and Fitting it All In for their Friday Favorites series! Check her out and click around to some of the other bloggers sharing their favorite things from this week. Have a great weekend!

Time to Focus

Okay, time for me to come clean: October was a really difficult month for me. I had my first serious backslide, and I ended up gaining about 5 pounds over the course of the month. I can blame a lot of things – I was giving in to stress-eating cravings, I skipped workouts, and family issues took center stage. I could beat myself up over this, but I’m being honest and trying to keep a positive perspective. My efforts at fitness and weight loss aren’t a temporary change; they’re habits that I’m building for a healthier life in the long term. Realistically, things aren’t going to be smooth sailing for the rest of my life, and learning to recover from difficult periods is an important part of this journey.

I’m embracing a few strategies to help me regain my footing. I know that as we head into the holidays, this isn’t something I can do alone. So, I’ve created a group on Facebook where friends can turn to each other for inspiration and support. This isn’t a challenge group; there aren’t any points and the only prize at the end will be how we feel about ourselves. I really just wanted someplace where I could honestly say, “I’m struggling today and I’m really craving a bag of Doritos,” and there would be support to help me through it. If you’re interested in joining, leave a comment below and I’ll happily add you to the group!

I’m also excited to participate in another Six Weeks to Chic program at Studio Poise. I’ve done #6W2C twice before and have had really fantastic results both times. It helps to remind me about ideal habits and get back into a routine, and I think doing this over the holidays will help me to avoid the normal holiday weight creep. Best of all, this time around there’s a challenge built in – and you know how I love me some healthy competition!

I’m really excited about the ladies on my team – they’re great friends and will be excellent motivation to help keep me on track. Being able to text them when I’m struggling or schedule classes with them for extra accountability will definitely help me past this bumpy point!

Finally, I’m trying to mix it up more. I love my at-home workouts (shout out to Body Pump, which I am LOVING!) and I am still loyal to my Poise classes, but I think I need to have greater variety to help jump start my weight loss again. I’m trying a new spin class this weekend at Sweat Cycling Studio in Wakefield, MA, and if I like it, I’ll probably buy a class pack to make spinning a regular part of my fitness routine again. I’ve also started scheduling lunch workout dates with coworkers. We have a great new gym that’s free for employees, but I never take advantage of it. Having someone else committed with me will make sure I leave my desk and get in an extra workout! Today we’re trying this resistance band workout from Lean it UP. I’ve got this pinned on my Pinterest page, and I’ll report back on how it goes!

 

Shifting Attitudes

Today’s post stems from a lot of recent experiences – from conversations I’ve had with girlfriends, from how I’ve been feeling myself, and from some articles and blog posts I’ve seen kicking around the internet. It’s certainly not a new topic, and I’m not sure I’m going to cover any new ground here, but here goes nothing. I want to spend some time today reflecting on why we, as women, are so damn hard on ourselves.

Most days, I think I am my own harshest critic. I struggle to just let things go. On days when I can’t make it to the gym, I feel guilty for skipping a workout – even if I had a legitimate reason for being unable to make it to my scheduled classes. When my diet isn’t as healthy as I would like it to be, I condemn myself for making poor decisions.

I know I’m not alone here. I cringe every time I hear my friends criticize themselves. These are smart, talented, successful women. They are funny, compassionate, smart, and engaging people; I enjoy their company and I’m lucky to have them as friends. But despite all of their outstanding qualities, I still hear these women put themselves down. They’re not working out enough; they don’t like what they see in the mirror; they’re unhappy with themselves.

And as if it weren’t enough to battle the voices in our own heads, we also get it from everywhere else. If we do achieve our health and fitness goals, suddenly we’re under attack for becoming obsessed with the gym. I’ve heard friends – healthy, strong, inspiring friends – relay their frustration at being told they’ve gone too far. Don’t be overweight – but don’t lose too much weight, or you’ll hear just as many complaints about your appearance. If you don’t work out, you’re lazy – but if you commit to making the gym a priority in your life, suddenly you’re a bad friend who spends too much time working out.

I’m posting today because I’m sick of it. I’ll be the first to admit that I haven’t been on track this month – and that’s okay. My weight’s gone up a few pounds, I’ve had to miss a lot of classes, and I haven’t prioritized food prep. It would be really easy to look at these past few weeks and see all the things I could have done differently, and to criticize myself for that. Instead, I’m choosing to concentrate on the positives. I didn’t grocery shop or meal prep this weekend because I decided to take some time to spend with friends, and the quality time I spent with them meant more for my health than any of the nutritious meals I would have prepared in my slow cooker. I had to cancel my gym classes this week because I had to have a mole removed to test for melanoma, but I’m not going to be upset about that. I’m prioritizing my long term health, and letting the biopsy site heal cleanly is more important than squeezing in a barre class.

I shouldn’t need to make excuses. I should be able to be at peace with myself, whatever version of myself I’m presenting on any given day. I want to feel as confident on my best days as I do on my worst. I want to silence the voice in my head that spreads doubt, and guilt, and leads me to question my every move. Basically, I want to get to the point that this is my inner monologue, 24/7:

So, I’m challenging myself to create a new habit. Every morning, I’ll set a positive intention for the day – something I’m doing that day for myself, for the pleasure of doing it, not for any other reason. And every night, before going to bed, I’ll reflect on at least one positive thing that happened that day. So as not to overcrowd the blog, I’ll be posting these intentions on my tumblr page. I’ll include a digest of my week’s reflections as part of my Friday roundup.

Do you ever feel like you’re too hard on yourself? Care to join me on this journey? Let me know how you’ll be logging your intentions and reflections – if you’re doing so electronically, share the link in the comments!